The best part about cleaning your room is finding money you didn't remember you had.
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to go shopping.
There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.
During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.
Wherever you pause in a movie, the actor's face will always look stupid.
A pessimist is always alone. An optimist is always two people away from a threesome.
If you look on the bright side for too long, you'll go blind.
We kill people who kill people because killing people is bad.
The ultimate test of self control is sitting next to bubble wrap and leaving it alone.
If you can read this, you can read.
The bus will only be late on the days that it is raining.
You'll always think of something better to say after you've finished having the argument.
The doorbell or phone will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
If you use a lot of commas, you end up, sounding really smart, see, it's true.
When you take a long time in the bathroom at school, everybody knows you pooped.
People will never hear what you say until you say "Never mind!"
Someone will always Facebook chat you 10 seconds before you plan to close the tab.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism, to steal from many is research
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